I zipped up my jacket while waiting for JiYong, I was waiting at the lobby in our hotel here in Jeju. He had to run back up in our room to get the camera that he accidentally left when we went down to the dining hall for breakfast. I pulled up my hood since someone might recognize me and start following us. JiYong and I was granted a one week vacation and so did the other members. We decided to go here because this is the place where we met so we wanted to come back and re-live the memories.
"Babe, are you ready?" He kissed my neck as soon as he approached me.
"Not here babe, people might see." I giggled and nudged him on the side.
"There’s noting wrong with people seeing some action from us. We’re out now." he winked and grabbed my hand. "Let’s go." He smiled his heart melting smile and off we were to go sight seeing.
We got in the car that we rented and off we went to Jeongbang waterfall. I haven’t seen it and he didn’t stop talking about it and telling me that we should go see it since we first started dating. He said that it’s pretty and since I love anything to do with water we should definitely go there first. It was still a long drive from where we stay so I started playing on my Dsi. After about 10 minutes into the game, Ji Yong grabbed my hand and kissed it. He didn’t let go of it so I decided to just let go of my game.
"Jagi-ya, saranghae." He smiled and looked at me. We’ve been dating for over a year now and I have never told him that I love him. I do love him, I’m just not the type of girl who would answer to that. I’m more of a show-it-instead-of-saying-it. I smiled at him and we continued to our journey for today.
We got to the waterfall and there was a lot of people around. We hiked up to the top where we can see the falls from a birds eye view. I propped up my camera and started taking pictures of the wonderful view. Ji Yong came up behind me and hugged me, as I rested my head on his shoulder, I closed my eyes and listened to his steady breathing.
"Noreen, are you okay?" He kissed my forehead and I looked at him.
"Yeah, I’m okay." I smiled and turned around to look at him. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I just… I’m just nervous." He slid his hands in his pocket.
"Nervous about what babe?" I started to get scared when he started to turn pale. "Babe?"
He kneeled in front of me and took out a ring from his pocket.
"Noreen, I know it has only been a year since we started dating but, I want to take this to the next level. Patrice, will you marry me?" He looked so nervous and all I can do was nod. He got up and slipped the ring on my left ring finger.
"Ji Yong…" was all I can say. He kissed me and we ended up in a hug. When he pulled away, he walked towards the edge of the cliff.
"NOREEN! SARANGHAMNIDA!" he yelled out into the open, echoing through the emptiness.
The drive back to the hotel was quiet but full of awkwardness. I guess this is something we need to get used to again. Even though we’ve known each other for over a year and we’ve been living together for about six months now, whenever there’s something new going on, we find ourselves back to the shyness and getting used to something. Now that we are engaged, I felt happy. I am going to marry one of Korea’s big shot superstar but that’s nothing, I fell in love for who he is and not by what he is.
Ji Yong’s image of being serious about everything is the opposite behind the camera. He’s sweet, loving, understanding and a very childish guy. Fights and misunderstandings never last a day. He tries his best to talk And fix everything before the day ends.
We got back in the hotel, because of the activities we did, we both decided to rest for a couple of hours before heading out to dinner. I put my purse on the table, and looked over where he was. Jiyong was watching tv so I just decided to freshen up and change into something comfortable. I saw him sleeping as soon as I got out of the bathroom, I slid under the blankets beside him and he pulled me close to him.
"Jagi-yah, let’s sleep for a little bit." his eyes were closed as he wrapped his arms around me. I buried myself into him his arms tightening around me. After a few minutes I started to drift off.
-“No! Please don’t leave me!” I begged him and all he did was turn around and left. ‘Oh my God! What am I to do? He…’ I found myself sitting in a corner trying to comfort myself. ‘He’s gone’ was the only phrase that’s been going through my mind.-
I woke up to an empty bed, I was alone. I remembered the dream and I started to panic. I grabbed a robe and put it on, I was struggling to put my shoes on and I started crying. The door opened and I looked up, Jiyong came in with some food. I let him put the food down on the table before I ran to him and hugged him.
"Hey there! Did you have a good rest?" He strokes my back and I didn’t answer him. All I did was cried. "baby, are you okay?" Panic in his voice as he tried to pull away to look at me. I just nodded and wiped the tears away. "Did you get scared?"
"Babe, next time, please. Just please wake me up when you have to go out." tears started to roll down my cheeks once again.
"Baby, I’m sorry. I wanted you to rest that’s why I didn’t wa—-"
"I don’t care. Next time just wake me up, please."
"I promise." he smiled and hugged me.
Dinner and the rest of the night was awesome but sad to say we have to go back to Seoul in the morning.
It has been a year since he proposed but everything went the opposite way. With me busy with work and JiYong being away most of the time, everything changed. After almost another 6 months of being like this, I called off the engagement. Things were not the same since he started his solo project. I moved out of his apartment and moved in to my own flat. I’d go to YG to hang out with everyone but he never looked at me.
I got tired and hurt by how it is now. I decided to leave South Korea to follow my brother to the states. It was a very difficult decision but it’s for my own good, it’s for our unborn child’s good.
I watched my daughter grow up, and I made sure she knew her dad. It was hard at first when she started asking about JiYong but I told myself that she needs to know her real father. Her name is Pauleen but I called her EunMi all her life. She is now 4 years old and keeps bugging me to see her dad. I consulted my brother about going back to South Korea and we both agreed that it’s the best thing to do.
It’s early Saturday morning and we just landed in Seoul. I saw Teddy waiting as soon as we got out of baggage claim.
"Noreen!" He ran to me and hugged me almost squishing EunMi between us.
"Excuse me mister, can you please respect the bubble?" She said while she does the arm length bubble gesture.
"A-ha! You must me EunMi." Teddy kneeled in front of her and held out his hand to shake hers.
"Pleasure to meet you mister." She bowed and shook Ted’s hands.
"You can call me Oppa." he smiled at her and EunMi looked up at me. I nodded and she gave Ted a hug.
"Oppa, do you know my JiYong Appa?" EunMi asked as she got carried up by Ted.
"Yes I do and I will take you—" I cut him off before he can tell her that he’s taking her to JiYong. "We should go straight to you Omma’s house first and get you two settled in before we go to appa, okay?"
EunMi nodded and Ted grabbed her luggage and we headed off to the car and on our way to my house where Ted is living now. It’s a 45 minutes drive and EunMi entertained herself with her iPad and she fell asleep due to the time difference. I noticed Ted smiling and looking at the rear view mirror to check on the little princess.
"you can’t deny that she’s JiYong’s daughter." He smiled at me.
"you think so?" I smiled back.
"If you stare at her you’ll see JiYong’s features."
"You didn’t tell him, right?" I asked Ted
"I didn’t mention anything. I told him you’re going to be here today though. And I invited everyone for dinner at our house." With that my heart felt like someone was squeezing it, draining the blood out of it. "It’s okay, I got you’re back my pretty lady." I laughed at him and we just started catching up with things.
We got to the house and Ted told me to just get EunMi settled in bed and he will take all the luggage inside. The house had 3 floors, the attic was turned into an entertainment room, there’s 4 rooms on the second floor and downstairs was the kitchen, and living room. One of the rooms upstairs where I took EunMi was decorated like a princess’s castle. I laid her in bed and changed her into something comfortable. When I was sure she was deep in sleep I got up and closed the door behind me. I made my way to the master’s bedroom where I’ll be staying. Everything is still the same, I looked around and I started to tear up.
"Norie…" I heard Ted from the door.
"Oh. Hey." I wiped away the tears that escaped my eyes.
"Freshen up, yeah? The boys are almost here. I’m going to start cooking." He smiled and rolled in my luggage and he was nice enough to put it on top of my bed.
For some reason I was excited and I couldn’t decide on what to wear.
After an hour, I heard voices downstairs, I dressed up and made my way down to the kitchen and was attacked by the boys minus JiYong.
"CAN’T… BREATHE…" The boys let me go and JiYong came up to me and gave me a hug but never said a word.
It was like that for the rest of dinner, we all decided to play video games in the living room. I watched them play and watched JiYong in the corner writing his music, as usual. I was watching him quietly when suddenly we heard a scream and a door being opened and slammed shut, then little footsteps of a little girl running down the stairs.
"MOMMY! MOMMY!" I ran towards the stairs but got met up by EunMi right by the living room door. "Mommy, why didn’t you leave a light on?" She wiped her tears and I heard Ted tell the boys inside the room to stop what they were doing.
"I’m sorry baby, I thought you were going to sleep throughout the night." I hugged her and I carried her to the kitchen.
I sat her on the countertop and grabbed a glass of water. I gave it to my little girl and she drank it. I heard footsteps coming from the hallway that connected the living room to the kitchen.
"Ted can you pass me the box of tissue right by the—" I turned around and saw JiYong. He was staring at EunMi trying to stare at the little face that looks like him. EunMi turned around and saw JiYong walking closer to her.
"APPA!" She jumped off the countertop but JiYong caught her. EunMi held on to him and JiYong hugged him.
"Is she…" He asked but I cut him by nodding. "My little girl." I walked towards them as tears rolled down my cheeks.
The rest of the boys were standing by the hallway and I heard Teddy tell them to leave us alone.
Months have passed and JiYong started to warm up to EunMi. He decided to move in and try and restore the relationship we had. He was doing a good job. EunMi was supposed to start school this month but we decided to do homeschooling. She likes writing and soon she was already hanging out with her dad composing songs.
I woke up one day from what seemed like a long slumber. I got up and no one was around. Maybe JiYong took her out. I made my way downstairs only to find Teddy waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.
“Where’s everyone?” I asked.
“Let’s go for a walk.” Teddy offered to hold my hand and off we went to the park near the house.
“So, what are we doing here?” I asked.
“I came back for you.” He smiled.
“What do you mean? What do you mean you came back for me?” I got confused and suddenly I felt a sting in my heart. Suddenly the park was dissolved into the misty fog that surrounded us and right in front of me was a tombstone with my name on it. I looked up at Teddy. “What does this mean?”
He pointed at a little girl about the age of six with an older man holding her hand. I looked up at the man and it was Jiyong. Teddy held me back while I tried to escape from his grip to run to my daughter and Fiance.
“You can’t tamper with the present. You change one little thing, everything will change in the future.” I broke down and cry. All I can do is watch the two people in my life.
“Mommy! I miss you!” EunMi laid out the roses she had in her hands.
“Baby, it’s been a year and a half and I still blame myself for causing the accident. I love you so much and I promise to take good care of our little angel.” EunMi held his hand again and he kneeled and hugged his daughter.
“It’s not your fault daddy.”
I smiled as tears roll down my face. JiYong got up and they started to walk away. Everything came back to me and I realized I just need to accept everything that happened. I looked up at Teddy and nodded. There was a bright light and as I walked towards it, the wind blew really cold and I heard EunMi hum the song that I always sing her. I blew a kiss towards her and she stopped humming for a second as she looked back. She smiled and waved at me then she continued humming the song.